


The Ironic Menage A Trois

by Dilicious



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 14:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dilicious/pseuds/Dilicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and Dave are enamored with each other, but what happens when Kanaya is thrown into the mix?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ironic Menage A Trois

"You're insane."  
  
"For having feelings for you, I must be."  
  
"Nah, those are totally normal. You're batshit in every other way." Dave smirked, thinking he had the upper hand. But with Rose, you never really knew what to expect. "As if you are the bastion of sanity with your endless quest to be the most ironic." Dave sneered.   
  
"A quest that I very much succeed in, Lalonde." Rose chuckled, and with a light shove from her, Dave landed on the only chair in the room. With the quirk of a brow and a devious smile on her face, she straddled Dave, taking extra effort to grind along his crotch.  
  
"Ohoho! Wasn't expecting that." Rose blushed slightly.   
  
"Yes, well, there will be much happening in the next few minutes that you probably weren't expecting." Dave grinned.  
  
"A proposition from Lady Lalonde? Directed at me? Do my ears deceive me?" Rose chose to answer him with a kiss on the lips. It had the added effect of shutting him up. She cupped his face, feeling the blonde stubble underneath her palm. Ah, a growing boy going through puberty. Dave licked her lips, practically sticking his tongue inside her mouth and demanding an entrance. When it came to the two, there was no other way. Rose obliged and then began the dance of tongues. They moved together, in sync. Neither one could really get ahead of the other. Dave chose to break them apart, their lips separating with a soft, wet smack.   
  
"Who knew you were such a damn good kisser?" Rose smirked this time. "Yes, well, we've had a lot of practice."  
  
"Rose?" A voice said and the two froze. No one was supposed to know they were here! "Rose, I heard your voice. Is there any chance you are in here?" Rose and Dave looked at each other. Wordlessly, they agreed. Dave ran behind some boxes that were in the back of the room, ducking behind them as to not to be seen. Not his style, but he wasn't about to get caught mackin' on Rose of all people. Rose sat down on the chair, making sure she didn't seem disheveled.   
  
A glow could be seen from the doorway. "Kanaya..." She muttered. Usually, she would be glad to see the troll. But, she didn't happen to interrupt her possibly getting some, so...  
  
"In here, Kanaya!" Rose called out to the Virgo, who then walked into the seemingly empty room.  
"Rose, I need to speak to you about something." Kanaya seemed nervous, fiddling with her fingers and biting her lip. Though Rose did truly want to get back to what she was doing before, Kanaya was her friend and she needed to try to help.  
  
"Is something the matter? Are you still upset about Porrim?" Kanaya looked at her feet and something in Rose stirred. Placing a hand on Kanaya's cheek, she raised the troll's head until it was facing her own. "Kanaya, you can tell me whatever you need to. I care about you and I want to know what is bothering you."  
  
Kanaya blushed. Without warning, she closed the gap between her and Rose's faces, kissing her deeply. Rose didn't think; she simply reacted to Kanaya's kiss by returning it, allowing the troll to wrap her arms around the human's neck.  
  
Rose's hands were free to slip under Kanaya's shirts and explore her body, feeling the troll's cool skin under her palms. They quickly found their way to her breasts, massaging the mounds while Kanaya moaned into Rose's mouth.  
  
Ok, so there were two ladies totally making out in front of him. It's alright, he's Dave motherfuckin' Strider. Too cool to let that shit fuck him up. So there he sat, watching the two girls stoically as they tried to suck each other's faces off. Oh shit, there goes Kanaya's skirt. ...Aaaand her shirts. Hot. Admittedly, he was a little ticked that Rose seemed to have forgotten about him.  It's alright, though. He just had to bide his time. Pick the perfect moment to reveal himself...  
  
'Humans are surprisingly knowledgeable in troll erogenous zones' Kanaya thought as Rose was currently rubbing one horn with one hand and gliding her finger along the outside of her core with the other. All the while her tongue was currently wrestling with Kanaya's. Rose was an amazing multi tasker, admittedly. Also, very sneaky. Kanaya hadn't even noticed when Rose stopped focusing on her breasts. It didn't much matter, though. This feeling was amazing and she didn't care where it came from.  
  
Rose broke off the kiss, choosing to press her lips along Kanaya's pulse instead, leaving little hot wet kisses down to to her collarbone. She then bit down, hard enough to bring Kanaya out of her daze. "Rose, that was a bit hard..."  
  
"I figured you of all people would enjoy the irony." Kanaya chuckled.  
  
"I think that if anyone was to do the biting, it would be me." Rose smirked.  
  
"Of course, it would only be appropriate." Kanaya revealed her fangs as Rose exposed her neck. Having never been a victim of Kanaya's feedings (Karkat's was her main source of food), she was a bit apprehensive. When the fangs sunk down into her skin, she winced. That was until the blood began flowing and then she gasped.  
  
"Aah." Kanaya continued as if she hadn't heard. She continued, Rose gripping Kanaya's shoulders as if to steady herself. She moaned and deep down in her core, she felt a twitch. She was beginning to show herself and Rose's moaning was the cause.  
  
After a few more moments and a few more of Rose's moans, Kanaya removed herself from Rose's person. Rose was limp on the chair, panting, eyes glazed over. Kanaya lips quirked downward; were humans supposed to be like this?  
  
Rose then sat up, stretched as if she had woken up from a nap and then looked up at Kanaya's nude form.  
  
"THAT...was an experience I need to have more often." Kanaya chuckled.  
  
"I'll gladly indulge you, Rose, if you'll have me." Rose stood up, removing her clothes.  
  
"Allow me to help you with those." Kanaya offered gleefully. Together, they removed Rose's god tier outfit until she was left in her ill fitting bra and panties.  
  
"It seems I have outgrown my underwear..." A blush appeared on both Rose and Kanaya's faces. Rose's bust was practically bursting from her bra and she seemed to have more 'junk in the trunk' now than two years ago. Kanaya reached out to Rose.   
  
"Once again, allow me to help you with those..." She said with a smirk. Rose reached behind her and unhooked the bra, allowing it to fall and reveal her breasts, hardened pink buds at the tips. Kanaya simply stared at them, then looked at her own, then back at Rose.  
  
"What are those?" She poked one of the buds, causing Rose to shiver.  
  
"Those are nipples. All humans have them." Kanaya fondled her own, smooth, nipple-less breasts.  
  
"Well, as you have probably noticed, we trolls don't." Rose raised her hand to her face, giggling behind it.  
  
"Yes, I noticed when I groping them myself." Rose then looked down and her eyes widened at the sight. "And though we may be similar down there, I definitely don't have that." She pointed at the tendril that was currently dripping green genetic material and twitching.  
  
"Ah, yes. This seems to be something unique to trolls then." Kanaya spoke, stroking the tentacle. It reacted by attempting to wrap itself around her hand. Rose gasped, but said nothing.  
  
Kanaya said what she was thinking. "Yes, it is also prehensile..." She quickly closed the gap between them, the bulge twitching gleefully as it neared Rose's core.  
  
Rose had Kanaya sit down in the chair, straddling the troll as soon as she sat down. The bulge rubbed itself along Rose's thigh. "It seems very excitable."  
  
"It's an extension of me..." Kanaya blushed, looking away from Rose, who smiled. Lifting Kanaya's face once again, she kissed her lightly, whispering "Let's begin."  
  
Behind Kanaya there was a rumbling of boxes. Behind the boxes, appeared Dave. Rose stared at the boy, blushing when she realized she had forgotten about him. Kanaya, however simply stared at him. "Dave, I would like it if you waited until we were done."  
  
"Nah, Kanaya. Ya see, you were the one who intruded on me and Rose first. So, if you could shoo and let me get my mack on?" Dave paused, then his face light up. "Better yet, go ahead and do it. I wouldn't mind a show." With a smug grin, Dave walked to the nearest wall and sat down, intend on watching Rose and Kanaya be intimate. Rose was covering her face in shame; She truly was insane for having feelings for him. Kanaya, however, was deep in thought.  
  
"Join us." She said after a few moments  
  
"What?"   
  
"WHAT?!" Dave and Rose answered simultaneously.  
  
"You would like to have Rose. I would like to have Rose. Let us share her." Dave was silent while Rose, still straddling Kanaya, was livid.  
  
"How dare you talk about me as if I wasn't even here! I'm a person, not a...a thing that can be shared between two people!”  
  
"I apologize, but in my aroused state, it seems I was not making clear decisions." Kanaya tried to apologize as Rose huffed uncharacteristically.  
  
"I-"  
  
A third voice cut through their argument. "Sure. I'm down for a menage a trois." Dave grinned, removing his god tier outfit. The two women stared at Dave as he stripped himself of clothing.  
  
"You do realize who you're inviting to be intimate with us, do you?" Rose said flatly, glaring out of the corner of her eye at Kanaya.  
  
"I do now, Rose." Kanaya responded as Dave removed his boxers.  
  
"Cool, now I'm free." Clapping his hands and rubbing them together, Dave walked towards the two. "Which one do I get to fuck first?"  
  
Both stared at his hardened member. Rose sighed. "You can't possibly be well endowed. Just...no." Dave grinned and turned his sights to Kanaya. "Mine is bigger." She said simply. Dave's grin fell slightly. Rose giggled and whispered something in Kanaya's ear. They then stood up, leaving the chair vacant.  
  
"I guess that's mine?" Dave asked, already knowing the answer as he walked to the chair, sitting his naked self and and spread his legs out. "Ready, Rose?"  
  
Rose lowered herself onto him, gasping as he filled her. It was a surprising feeling. She felt...whole. It did hurt a little, but for the most part, she was very much enjoying this feeling.  
"Fuuuuuck, this feels good. I applaud you, Lalonde, for havin' such a great snatch."  
  
"Please, Strider. Don't be so crudeaaaaAAAAAAH!" Dave grabbed hold of her hips and began thrusting, causing Rose to scream out in unexpected pleasure. He continued to thrust in and out, pawing at her breasts sloppily. As they continued, Dave stood up, holding up Rose with surprising ease. She moaned, squeezing him and he grunted, thrusting into her even faster until he could no longer contain himself. His release may have only lasted a few seconds, but it was an immense relief to Dave, who felt almost two years of stress finally escape him.  
Rose felt Dave let go inside her, which caused her to have her own release soon after. It was a glorious feeling, one that too short for her. After they finally finished, Rose removed herself from Dave, while the boy flopped back onto the chair, clearly exhausted.  
  
"Welp, Kanaya, she's good in bed, so you got nothing to worry about." Dave breathed out.  
Kanaya, who had been fulfilling her own needs until that point, walks towards Rose, who was spread eagle on the floor.   
  
"Are you ready?" She asked tentatively, nervous now that her mind is clear from arousal. Rose simply nodded, reaching her arms out in order to hug the troll. Kanaya lowers herself down to the floor, leaning into Rose's embrace.   
  
"Give me a few minutes..." She whispered to Kanaya, who smiles. "Get out, Strider." She barked at Dave, who looked positively giddy at the prospect of watching them like Kanaya watched him and Rose.  
  
"No need to snap, yo. I get the picture." Dave held his hands palms out. He then began to walk around the room and slowly dress himself after throwing his clothes around haphazardly in his earlier frenzy. As soon as he was done, he exited the room, muttering something about a shower.  
  
After Dave's exit, Rose looks back to Kanaya, who is smiling at her. Rose once again kisses Kanaya, after which she nods. Kanaya lifts up Rose and walks to the chair once again.   
  
"I apologize for picking Dave first..." Rose began as Kanaya sat down. "I simply wanted to save the best for last, though." Rose blushed as she and Kanaya positioned themselves as before.  
  
"I will try to not be as rough as Dave was..." Kanaya said softly and Rose nuzzled her.  
  
"I appreciate that..."  
  
Kanaya wiggled her way inside Rose, who once again had that feeling of being whole. Kanaya began wriggling in and out, fondling Rose's breasts as she saw Dave do earlier. It seemed to work for him, so why not?  
  
Rose dug her nails into Kanaya's glowing back, burying her head into the troll's neck. Kanaya filled her up more than Dave did and she could do more than he could. Kanaya slid against her inner walls and Rose moaned louder each time it happened.  
  
Kanaya had never felt so amazing before. She was being intimate with the person she was flushed for. Not to mention it physically felt amazing as well. Every time Kanaya made her way inside Rose, Rose squeezed down on her, causing her to enter her a little harder each time. It seemed her promise to keep it gentle was harder to keep than she originally thought.  
  
Kisses, nips, bites, moans, groans. A sweaty mass with limbs was what they were now, as Kanaya gave up all pretense of being gentle and began thrusting inside her. Rose began to move her hips in sync with Kanaya's and soon, it had become too much for the both of them. They hit their climaxes at the same time, Kanaya expelling genetic material and Rose losing control of her body for a few moments as it spasmed in pleasure.  
  
After everything was over, Rose lay flush on Kanaya, both panting from exhaustion.  
  
"That...was amazing..." Rose breathed out, not moving from where she was.  
  
"I have to agree...that was something like no other..." Kanaya wrapped an arm around Rose's waist. "...Dave is going to tell everyone he had his way with you, isn't he?"  
  
"Yes, he is."  
  
"Should we stop him?"  
  
"No. I'll find a suitable punishment for him soon enough." Rose nuzzled Kanaya's neck, enjoying the coolness against her own warm skin. "For now, allow me to enjoy some post coital snuggling."  
  
Kanaya smiled, but said nothing.


End file.
